Paradise

Today is a great day! Jason swaped his days off this week, so all 5 of us took a little trip to paradise. It's hard to explain where we are, but here goes. My mom's first cousin, Susan, has an inherited beach house on Guemes Island.  It's one of the San Juan Islands that's about an hour and a half north of our house.  I grew up always hearing about "Guemes", but never thought I'd actually get to visit here.

Susan & Scott's house is right on the beach, so you can just imagine the view.  They have glass windows across the entire back of the house giving you a panoramic view while sitting on the sofa.  I've stolen a minute on her computer (while Gideon naps, & the big boys watch tv) & the view I have is just amazing.  Susan has described this spot as her "heaven on earth".

Before you're too terribly jealous, enjoy the fact that the water is FREEZING!  I can't imagine that the water ever gets above 70, but today it feels more like 60.  The boys had a blast throwing rocks, screaming over possible crabs & watching our fornlorn bucket float away (Luke still hasn't forgiven me for not swimming after it).

Where is Jason, you ask?  He's still out on an adventure with Scott.  They kayaked out to Scott's little boat (no one has boat docks, they just anchor the boats off shore because of the tide) & took off to speed around the nearby islands.  I'm told you can swim to the closest island (named Jack), but I can't see myself ever wanting to do that.  (Luke on the other hand...we'll see.)  Scott said you can see seals, eagles, and sometimes even whales on the other side of the islands.  I'm hoping they will come back & take us out with them.

Since I can't upload a picture of this paradise for you to see, I'm giving you a couple of links to get an idea of what it looks like.
http://www.whatcomrealestate.com/guemes-island-real-estate.php
http://www.scoraigwind.com/sei2009/index.html (this one's kind of random, but it has a map of the island & a pic with a great view with a rainbow)

Boat's headed this way!  Yipee!

Roller Coaster

In high school, I sang in the youth choir at my church.  One summer our musical was called "The Ride" and one song from it had the line "This roller coaster ride of life, spins you 'round and up and down."  That's how I feel right now.  My emotions are all over the place.  When people REALLY ask how I'm doing, I usually tell them, "Well, today was a good day."  I can't go more than about 4-5 days without having some sort of break-down.

Don't worry, mom, nothing has happened.  No one has made fun of my "y'all's" and the church still likes to hear Jason preach and we haven't been attacked by a bear (which could really happen up here!) and the boys really are adjusting wonderfully.  No, I'm just homesick.  My family and friends, our house, Chick-fil-A, the weather, our dog & cat, the familiar ins and outs of our old life.  Some days I feel like I can't breathe & just want to hop on the next flight out of here.  Today has been one of those days.

I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party (o.k., well maybe I am), but this is my life right now.  This is the time that I've been dreading.  I know I'll be fine (eventually) and I will love living here and have a gaggle of girlfriends to be silly with again. But it's the right now, the weeks-months-years(!), until I get to that point that I hate.

So even though I don't feel happy or thankful or blessed, I know I really am.  And to remind myself how great I really do have it, here's my "thankful for" list tonight:

• the moon.  Because it's cloudy here so much & the days are so long, I really haven't seen it much.
• Starbucks.  I still haven't learned to like coffee yet (sorry Ashley), but since I'm only 5 minutes from one (two actually) and they have FREE WIFI, it gives me a place to be alone & escape to.  We still don't have internet & that's been really hard for me.
• the weather.  We've had 2-3 days in a row without rain, so it's been really nice.  I actually wore shorts today.  And everytime someone back home tells me it's 105, I'm reminded how great this weather really is.
• Jesus.  That seems like a "Sunday School" answer, but it's not meant to be.  I don't "feel" God close to me right now & I don't "love" going to church and I don't "want" to read my Bible, but I KNOW that He hasn't given up on me and that He has a purpose for us here, even though I don't understand it.

Since Starbucks is going to kick me out soon, I guess I better wrap it up.  I could blog for hours & hours. I have so much saved up to tell you about, but I know I'll eventually have time to write it out.  Thank you so much to everyone that has texted me, sent me mail, prayed for us, called & put up with me on this roller coaster ride that I'm currently one.  Just let me know when it finally stops.  I can't wait to get off.

The Next Chapter

Hard to believe, but we've been in Seattle almost 1 month.  I've escaped to the computer in the clubhouse (called the "cabana" in the NW) of our apartment complex to blog for the first time!  I could blog for days, which I probably will as soon as I can.  For now, here is a brief overview:

• We are in our new apartment!  Tonight will be one week since we moved in.  I can text or e-mail you our address if you want it.  Here's a link to the apartments if you want to see our "snazzy" digs (http://www.apartmentsearch.com/apartments/washington/bothell/bordeaux-apartments.html#).
• Jason's doing well at church.  He's preached 4 Sundays already.  If you want to hear his sermons on the web, go here (http://www.marthalake.org/).  Our picture is still on the front page, with the sermon links right beside it.
• The boys are doing good.  Jonah is having trouble sleeping through the night.  Is he scared of where he is or being left?  No.  Most often it's "There are snakes/crocodiles in my bed!"  We currently are trying to bribe him with a trip to the zoo if he sleeps through the night for 7 nights in a row.  My mom pointed out that is the exact place where snakes and crocodiles will be...but oh well!
• I'm doing good.  Some days are better than others.  I usually have one breakdown a week now.  I haven't had one since last Saturday, so I guess I better get ready.  I'm staying busy doing something "fun" with the boys each day & trying to fit a 1700 sq ft (plus full attic!) house into a 1200 sq ft apartment.  Slow going.

I'll keep you posted.  Thanks for all the prayers!

Schedule

I know many of you have asked what's happening when, so here's the latest.  All prayers for productivity, sanity, comfort for the boys & scheduling are much appreciated. :-)

(Sunday, May 22nd):  Jason's last Sunday @ BBC
(Monday, May 23rd):  Jason's last day of work @ BBC
Tuesday, May 24th:  PACKING like crazy!!!  Boys taken care of by friends @ Ashley's
Wednesday, May 25th:  Mom takes boys to Nashville, Moving Van arrives at 9 A.M.  (Ahhhh!)
Thursday, May 26th:  Clean, paint, clean some more
Friday, May 27th:  One last yard sale?, M & J to Nashville
Saturday-Tuesday:  In Nashville
Wednesday, June 1st:  fly to Seattle
Wed-?:  stay with Nicolle & Mike
Sunday, June 5th:  1st Sunday @ MLB

So there's the quick version of our life for the next week & a half.  (Audible sigh).

Blindsided

I fell in love with the movie, The Blind Side, like most everyone did, last year.  Immediately after watching it, I got on the Internet looking for kids to adopt. :-)  My family would whole-heartedly agree with this fact because I've been talking about it since I was a little girl.

I regularly have this conversation with friends & acquaintances that goes something like this:  Them:  "Wow!  Three boys.  Are you going to have any more/try for a girl?"  Me:  "Yes, eventually.  We'd like to adopt sisters."

This past weekend, we got to do just that.  Without going into too much sensitive detail, we had the honor of having our teenage neighbor girls move in with us.  Today, because of those aforementioned details, they are leaving us.

I'm not sure why this happened now, just days before us moving, but I'm counting on God and his timing.  All I can feel now is broken-heartedness.  Please pray for these girls & our family.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

Just Breathe

I think I'm like not unlike much of Generation X in that many of my thoughts contain movie/song quotes.  Just the other day, Gideon tried to help me with the laundry by picking up my bleach pen.  Instead of saying "No" or "Leave that alone", I started singing McHammer's "Can't Touch This." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo).

So it should be no surprise that the thought that is playing over and over in my head right now is actually a quote from a movie.  At the climatic moment in the Cinderella movie "Ever After"  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcEkiXm_r3I) , Drew Barrymore thinks aloud "Just breathe."

Here are some examples of the past few weeks when I have been to the point of having to remind myself to just breathe:

• I realize at the farewell party that my Sunday School class hosted that this was the last time I would be in the home of my dear friend.
• As I'm taking the sheets off the mattress (because I just sold the nursery set), I realize that I may never have a baby in a crib again.
• Anytime Jason says something like "Did you know that in xx number of days we'll be doing such & such?" and I have to shush him because I can't think about how many days it really is.
• Every time a piece of furniture leaves and my home is more and more becoming a house again.
• Saying "See you later" to a Christian friend & realizing that I probably should have said "Goodbye.  Have a nice life.  See you in heaven."

Just breathe.

Jonah & Gideon (in orange) with their buddies at our last playdate

Crazy

All four of my boys are asleep & I am enjoying the quiet.  The past 4 days have brought alot of changes/next steps for us.  We had a yard sale on Saturday that emptied 3/4 of our attic (see http://serving-in-seattle.blogspot.com/2011/04/tutus-tornadoes.html).  We had a glorious, farewell party with our Sunday School class on Saturday night.  Sunday was May 1st, meaning exactly 1 month until we are on a plane to Seattle.  And over the past 2 days, 6 major pieces of furniture have left through our front door.

How does all that make me feel?  Scared.  Uneasy.  Nervous.  At peace.  A close friend recently asked if we really knew what we were doing.  Nope.  Not even a little.  But as much as this move doesn't make sense, I am totally at peace with it.

Remember that wishy-washy, unreliable, akward discipline Peter?  I was thinking today of probably his most courageous act during his time with Jesus.  During a bad storm, he got out the boat he & the disciples were in & walked out to Jesus.  He didn't stick one toe in to test the water or ask the other disciples what they thought he should do or tell Jesus that he needed to know how deep the water was before getting out.  He just got out of the boat.  He trusted that Jesus would either make him walk on water or keep him from drowning.  (If you're not a Christian & would like to read this awesome piece of history, you can look up Matthew 14:22-32 or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q7cLmZY6xM, at about minute 3:00).

That's what I'm hoping to do on this crazy & life-changing adventure we're on.  Just step out of the boat in faith.  And as I go to sleep tonight (eventually) on our air mattress, I will try to remember this verse:

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9