Monday, January 14, 2013


Today is my grandmother's Murr's funeral.  When I got dressed this morning, I automatically put on my funeral clothes.  Even though I can't be there, it just felt right to do so.  I'm not at the funeral by choice & by circumstance.  I could have begged, borrowed or stolen the money for the airfare, but having the stomach flu this weekend sealed the deal on the decision I knew was best. 

My last picture with Murr

Like most in this situation, I am overwhelmed with grief.  I feel like I can hardly breathe.  But at the same time, I am so thankful.  Thankful that:
  • My grandmother is a Christian.  I don't have to worry about where she will spend her eternity.  What a blessing!!
  • I got to spend three glorious nights with her.  We didn't plan our Christmas trip to TN as such, but God did.  I got to spend one terrifying night with her at the hospital & 2 nights at hospice with her.  She was awake, alert, coherent & talkative with me during some of that time.
  • I had 35 wonderful years with her.  I know that I am blessed more than most with the time I got to spend with her.
  • She died rather quickly.  I know she didn't feel like it at the end, but she spent less than 2 weeks in the hospital/hospice, which really is a blink of the eye.  She didn't have cancer, Alzheimer's or a dozen other things that so many have faced.
The boys' response to her death has been interesting.  Luke simply said, "O.K." when I told him.  In all fairness, though, he and Jason did have some deep discussions about heaven & Christianity later on.  Jonah gasped when I told him & said, "So now it's just Grandpa?"  He also had a ton of questions about eternity.  Gideon's response was:  "Awww. (pause)  Maybe I can get another one."  No, my sweet, we can't.

And that's one thing that I've gotten out of this week.  I want to be irreplaceable, too.  Don't you?  I want people to think I was the best mommy, wife, daughter, friend, neighbor, whatever, so that there will never be a replacement.  I want to live bigger, be nicer, smile more, be friendlier, more serving, so that my presence will be known to others.

One of my favorite pictures of my irreplaceable Murr & my mom, spring 2010

When I asked Murr Sunday night what her favorite Bible verse is, she shared these two with me:

" all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:6
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones."  Proverbs 17:22
And, indeed, HER merry heart did just that.


  1. Sorry to hear about your loss Melissa, and that you weren't able to attend her funeral. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with her, and that she was such a great influence in your life, and that you have so many memories to cherish with her. I will continue to pray for you and the rest of your family, during this time of loss and grieving. Thanks for sharing this...and how it reminds each one of us to try to live the irreplaceable life...such as your Grandmother/Murr did.

  2. Melissa, I was so sorry to hear about your Murr. I was only around her a few times, but she was was always charming and a first-class Southern lady, with such a gentle spirit. I know she held a most special place in your heart and always will. So glad you have these wonderful 35 years of memories. You were blessed to be able to live near by and enjoy her. Glad also you were there in those last days - that is much more important than being at the funeral. She knew you were there and how much you loved her! Hugs and Kisses to you.